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madam_silvertip's Journal

“The culmination of the soul's journey of awakening is not just returning to its original state. Instead, it is how the soul has evolved through its passage on earth . . . and the unique way each soul's unfoldment has contributed to the evolution of the Universe itself.”

Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan

"OPTIMISM: Have it. You can always cry later."

Marlene Dietrich

"You should always write in yesterday's blood."

Bernice Rubens

"Everyone should live his life twice, for the first attempt is always blind."

Edwin Muir


The flist for this journal is of limited size and cut from time to time. This is mainly to make sure everyone here is someone I can remember. If you have been cut, and you want back on, just give me a shout or simply friend me. I probably forgot who you were.

Likewise, I won't keep anyone on indefinitely if it's possible they might wish the reverse, but such assumptions are rude, so feel free to contradict them by refriending if you're suddenly off.

Please unfriend at any time if you want to and, ideally, can do so in a civilized fashion--and please don't take my friending you as an assumption that you will friend back or have to read my entries. (This holds especially for people with big flists and/or a known professional identity, such as a published writer or artist.) Friending on my part usually means that I follow or have commented in your journal and want to extend the courtesy of owning that fact. If I unfriend you and don't know you offline, you can assume that we simply didn't have enough in common. If we know each other offline, I'd try to deal with anything sufficiently negative offline before it came to online.

A related issue: I'm considering a policy of not engaging in discussion, at length, of anything too personal (mine or yours) on another person's journal as opposed to offline, since this is often how drama begins. If this comes to a decision I'll say so here. Until then, if I seem aloof regarding personal issues unfolding on others' journals, this is probably why. What I write about on my journal is of course at my risk, but it's with the expectation that it won't be shared around (the journal is mostly friends-only). You're naturally free to respond as you see fit, though for purely selfish reasons I'll make an entry private if this becomes difficult to handle (as in "gee, I'm embarrassed now"). Boundaries are a personal thing and what is difficult for me might not be difficult for you, and vice versa, so this seems like the best and least hypocritical response if I decide I don't want to talk about something after all. Right now, entries on sufficiently private topics tend to become private after a few hours or days, often with no comments at all, so please don't worry.

My policy in case of drama is under construction, but I reserve the right to unfriend in cases of sociopolitical attitudes that squick me too much--which is less likely to be a matter of ideology than behavior (hostile vocabulary, epithets, etc.), though apologists for Bush need not apply. If it's on your journal, it's your business. If it's on mine, I'll probably try to talk to you about it first, discreetly if possible.

This is primarily a personal blog and read by a relatively small flist, meaning that there are very few public entries. Very very occasionally I will make an entry public for the reason that it feels like the right thing to do to make a statement on an issue. However, if there is a risk that this may bring personal drama down on the heads of other people without their consent, especially if the drama would derive from matters addressed (if at all) in flocked entries, I may disable comments. So if you hear that this unknown person in cyberland is holding forth on X topic and disabling comments/flocking some of the entries, and it's me, this is pretty sure to be why. You can still reach me at my LiveJournal address if you want to respond to a public post with comments disabled; I read all such comments and normally will try to answer them honestly, though "Why are you disabling comments" has been answered here and thus won't be answered there.

All of the above doesn't happen very often.

NOTE: I'd rather have someone be mad at me than dead. This means that Emily Post may be ignored if you show signs of being in immediate physical danger (acute suicidality, bubonic plague symptoms, etc.): as in, I may then comment in no uncertain terms, despite what I've written above about not commenting on personal issues. I will also do my utmost to avoid being in a situation where this might happen. If it does, you've been warned. (This has nothing to do with lifestyle, private struggles, whether one chooses to drink or smoke, precious bodily fluids, etc., but with the event of a clear and present emergency. The issue is all but guaranteed never to come up, and is being mentioned due only to knowing from experience that it exists.)

IMPORTANT: I don't use my real name anywhere on LJ or give out too many identifying details, for purposes of privacy. So if you know my name from a more public venue--unlikely but not impossible--remember I will not respond to it.

That's about all for now.

Dear one, who even in speaking are silent,
for years I have searched, usually while asleep,
when I have found the suitcase open, collecting snow,
still holding your vade mecum of the infinite,
your dictionary of the no-longer-spoken,
a commonplace of wounds casually inflicted,
and the slender ledger of truly heroic acts.

Carolyn Forche, "The Lost Suitcase"
adrienne rich, alice munro, alice thomas ellis, aline kominsky-crumb, alison lurie, alma alexander, anthony bourdain, antibush, antiracism, aria nadii, arletty, astrophysics, avram davidson, beadwork, ben bagdikian, benjamin britten, billie holiday, cantigas, carl brandon society, caroline blackwood, carolyn forche, catholic worker, cats, charlotte delbo, christianity, compassion fuckups, cooking, cordwainer smith, countertenor, cute things, czeslaw milosz, dashiell hammett, dawn powell, deborah harry, delia sherman, early music, edmond jabes, elise matthesen, elizabeth bear, ellen kushner, ellie greenwich, erzebet yellowboy, esoteric christianity, eszter balint, feminism, flannery o'connor, fluxus, food history, free speech, french resistance, gemology, gems, george smiley, georges franju, gesualdo, girl groups, glenn gould, hating cliques, hiraeth, homemaking, honor moore, honore daumier, ignatius of loyola, intentional community, isaac babel, james tiptree jr., jean kerr, jean stafford, jellyfish, jessica amanda salmonson, jet jewelry, jews against the occupation, joanna russ, josquin des prez, juan de la cruz, june jordan, kelly link, keri hulme, kurdistan, kylie kwong, l. timmel duchamp, lampwork, lon chaney, mahalia jackson, marc robine, mary gentle, mercedes sosa, middle east, misanthropy, mushrooms, my husband, nadine gordimer, nalo hopkinson, new york, norilana books, oceans, octavia butler, oral history, palestrina, patrick troughton, patti smith, paul robeson, penanggalan, persian miniatures, piano, pj harvey, poppy z. brite, precious stones, rachel manija brown, rameau, ramsey campbell, resiliency, richard thompson, robin holcomb, ronnie spector, roots music, samuel r. delany, sandy denny, sara maitland, science fiction, sea horses, simone weil, sinead o'connor, skunks, slow food, small beer press, sophie tucker, special operations executive, spooks, stevie smith, sviatoslav richter, syd barrett, tadeusz borowski, terra madre, terrence des pres, the crystals, the kinks, tilty-headed seal of doom, tod browning, tove jansson, valaida snow, varlam shalamov, vera nazarian, vonda n. mcintyre, white privilege, wiscon, writing, yayoi kusama, yehoodi, yo la tengo


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